What's In a Name?

My wife is a fashion student.  She goes to FIT (one of the best schools to be in for the Fashion Industry) and she reads this newspaper everyday called Women's Wear Daily.

I, on the other hand, don't know Polo from Puma.  Before I met my wife I had what I thought was a good style.  Flip flops, cargo shorts, and a T-shirt that says something like "Baghadad Ass Up".

Little did I know, my way of dressing was to "stylish" as Lindsay Lohan's acting is to an Oscar performance.  After a couple of years dating a fashion student (and eventually marrying her so that I can keep this good looks forever), she managed to make me a somewhat, decent, fashionable man.  I am no model, but I definitely moved up from the "You look like the teenager in the Old Navy commercial". 

While now I do shop for my clothes at places like Zara, and H&M and stopped shopping at the  Wal-Mart Men's section that has the big, bright, yellow, smiley face over it, I still can not pronounce any of the high-end clothing names.  Most "high end" clothing are named with something sexy, and strange (like the don't want you to be able to pronounce it).   You have "Chanel" (pronounced Sha-nel)...I thought it was pronounced like Channel.  You have Balenciaga, which to me, sounds like a Brazilian Women's Soccer Team.  

I even recall one time I saw an article about Stella McCarteny and looked at my wife and asked "Does Paul McCartney know this chick is using his name for her clothing line?".   After a laugh that lasted 15 minutes, my wife said "It's his daughter".  Well how was I supposed to know that there are two famous McCartneys?

I also remember when I went shopping for my wife's birthday last year.  All I remember are the looks of the sales people at the sunglasses store when I asked them if they had anything by "Dolsee and G-yabama".   Later did I find out it is pronounced, Dolche' and Gabbana.

So last night I am sitting in bed before I snooze away and I pick up the NY AM paper.  I start reading and got to an article about how Sex and The City inspired fashion in people in NYC and how NYC inspired the show/movie.  I noticed very quickly that the article used the words "Malano" alot.  Sarah Jessica Parker was interviewed in this article and she kept referring to this Malano guy.  The article didn't make sense to me because they spoke as if I was supposed to know who this Malano guy is.  "Malano did such great work for us on set", "I wish I could have my life filled with his work".   I really started to think Malano was the director of the Sex and the City movie.

Me:  Hey, babe.  Who is Malano?

Wife:  What?

Me:  Malano.  They keep mentioning him in this article about Sex and The City.   Malano? Is he like one of the creators or something?

Wife:  He is the guy that makes the shoes...you know? the famous ones.

I previously thought it would be a cool gift to buy my wife the Sex and the City full series on DVD.  Little did I know, I would be forced to watch all of them with her.  Next time, I am buying her the series DVD of something I can watch and enjoy like the Sopranos or Saved By The Bell.

I had this perplexed look on my face when she mentioned he is the designer of famous shoes.  Then it hit me that they mentioned him in a couple of the episodes I was forced to watch.

Me (with an exciting glow on my face like I finally know a name of a designer): Oh, you mean the guy who makes the Malanik Blaniks?

Wife: ?

Me:   Malanik Blaniks!  (I was still smiling.  like I knew she would be proud of me for remembering something that she adores.  Then, my smile slowly drifted away as I noticed she was giving me a blank stare with her jaw dropped).

Wife:  Remind me again, why did I marry you?

You see, the designer is Manolo.  He designs shoes called Manolo Blahniks that are worth more than a 42" plasma.  I screwed up the name of a famous designer, and obviously proved to my wife that I was not paying attention to the DVDs we watched.

So the moral of the story is, never attempt to act like you know something, if you really don't know anything about it.

I am a well dressed man because of my fashionable wife.  I am aware of names like Betsey Johnson or Gucci, but don't know anything about them (just recently found out that Dolce and Gabbana are two guys....go figure).  For the knowledge I know due to my wife having endless amount of fashion magazines and newspapers, I still can't claim to know anything.  

Thankfully, I am not rich enough to ever have to worry about walking into Saks 5th Ave and ask a sales person:

"Excuse me, where do you keep the Malanik Blaniks?"

I am sure I would be burned at the stake.

My wife's fashion blog is amazing by the way:  http://newyorkfashion.blogg.se/