The last four days we have had a "Heat Wave". F that. Its been more like a "Heat Tsunami".
102 degrees inside my house. It was 98 degrees on Sunday night at 11 pm. That's 11 PM people!
Not to mention the lightning storm and warm, hot rain (one lightning hit the Empire State Building Sunday and caused debries to fall down on the sidewalk).
I have been sweating while sitting on a bowl of ice. Seriously, you can't even change the channel on your TV remote without breaking into a heat stroke. My poor dogs have not moved (no, they are not dead). Wifey had been giving them ice to lick and me, well I have been bitching and moaning about the heat for all four days. Then I realized, I should probably stop bitchin and go buy an A/C already.
I went to PC Richards & Sons. Cheap A/Cs and even cheaper employees. Those guys were not wanting to help except trying to sell you the most expensive thing on the floor. I finally buy my cheap A/C against the employee Antonio's wishes (he even said "If you don't listen to me, that's fine. But you are spending money for nothing"). This isn't a BMW douchbag. It's a $100 airconditioner which you may get upside your head if you don't start being a dick in this heat.
I get home only to realize that I need someone to professionally install this A/C because my building has metal window frames that can not take the tiny screws that came with my $99 A/C. I called 12 places. 12! Nobody wants to install the thing. Why? Apparently they don't want to be liable in the event the thing falls out of my window and lands on some jack ass who was on his way to work at PC Richards. By the way, wasn't this an episode on Seinfield once?
Anyway, I finally found some guy through a girl who knows a guy who had a guy that lived with a roommate who had this guy that installs the airconditioners for $50. Only downfall, if the A/C slips out a few months from now out the window and crushes some poodle, he probably won't take responsibility. Heck, I would be surprised if he claimed he can even speak english.
Atleast he is coming to install it. And if it does fall out, well, let's hope I am not home at the time.
So all this worry about stuff falling out of windows struck a chord when I came across an article today that said a building on the Upper East Side had pieces of it breaking off and falling to the sidewalk below. One bolder (yes, bolder..as in, giant rock, not some small Gaza Strip ammunition type rock. I am talking about stop traffic on a windy road in the mountains type rock) fell from the sky on this Upper East Side street and crushed the front of a BMW 3-Series (pictured above).
So here I am, unable to find people to take responsibility on installing my A/C unit because of liability threats that it may fall from the sky and hurt someone (which basically means that all the 8 million people living in this city have been installing these suckers themselves and probably doing a shitty job at it), but now I have to worry about building bolders falling on my ass? Not to mention construction cranes have been falling faster then the dollar currency in this country. With pieces of the empire state building during lightning storms and a 102 degree weather, I am really starting to feel blessed to still be alive this week.
So cheers to you readers of New York for still staying alive in a gross heat with falling rocks and cranes and nasty, hot rain. And Cheers to you Mr. BMW 3-Series, for having a nice car and an apartment in the Upper East Side. Apparently, the UES is just as shitty as the rest of us. Hope that $6000 a month apartment that is falling apart will cover your damages.
Happy coolin'
1 comment:
You know, they make AC units that sit on the floor and don't have to be installed in a window, which is great for people like me who have windows that slide open sideways, and traditional AC's can't be used in them. I don't need one though because I have central air. =P Sorry it's so stinkin hot there!
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