Go away people!

I don't brag about my art or photoshop skills.  Personally, I think I suck.  My wife (and some other people in my life) always tell me I am awesome, but I tend to think I suck (like that Dyson Vaccume...oh wait, that's the one that doesn't use sucktion....whatever.  "A" vaccume).

Anyway, I don't think I am a guru or a "pro" by any means.   Sure, I do graphic design for a living, but its for a company that leaves little room for creativity.  My head goes to strange places and I never get to play with my ideas in the cube I sit in. 

So, I get all excited when people ask for my design help.  Sometimes its to make a flyer.  Sometimes its to make a wedding invitation.  Sometimes its putting someone's head on top of a ripped body so they can use it as a myspace photo when trying to pick up chicks.

My buddy Craig asked for some help.  So, I did.  As I said, I don't brag much, but I do think the way I took those people out of the picture, and removed a roof to be replaced by fake palm trees instead ended up pretty sweet.  

Nothing like making that somewhat romantic moment on vacation become an AMAZING moment on vacation....which never happened.  Now you can go and say "We were the only ones there...all alone with the sunset".

You can click on the image above to view a larger version of it.

Happy 29th you douch!

Yesturday was my 29th birthday.  The BIG 2-9.  I know, I know.  There isn't a BIG 2-9.  It is usually the BIG 3-0, or BIG 4-0.  But eff it.  I am starting a new trend.  2-9 is big for ME!  As mentioned in previous posts, this is my last 12 months of my twenties.  

I accomplished a lot in my 20's.  I was 20 years old when I first moved out of my parents home with $200 in my pocket and a janky car.  I lived with my pregnant sister for a few months while collecting jobs doing "extra" work on Party Of Five and Seventh Heaven.  9 years later, here I am with my own "party of 4" (myself, wife, and two dogs).

It has been a long, interesting 20's thus far,  with one more year to go in my twenties (which are known to be "The Best Years Of Your Life").  My wife an I got some unfortunate news lastnight.  After getting the news, I thought more and more about life and started to think if people really know how much I apperciate them.  I know I am still young in a way, and have a long life ahead of me, but why wait until the end of the road to let people know how you feel.  So, I want to take time to thank a few people.  

I have a lot of people in my life that I appreciate, love, adore and envy.  All for different reasons.  I get one wish when I blow out my candles (and I did yesturday morning), so now, I want to thank and leave a wish for each of the people who left something special with me in my life so far.  I hope I keep you close for the next 29.  

I want to thank people, but not sure if all feel comfortable having their names here.  So I will use initials.  You know who you are.

First group to thank:  FRIENDS!

R.G. - You are the closest thing to a blood brother I have ever had.  I can't exactly remember when and where we met, but I could swear it feels like when we were kids.  You are my exact duplicate.  I love you for having the heart the size of a mountain, for having patience like nothing I have ever seen. You are the kind of father I hope to grow to be.  One that will do whatever it takes to let his kids know he loves them.  The kind to go out to the end of the earth and back for his children.  You have a heart made of gold (and some chicks might even say, so is your "member").   You have been there through my hard times and the best times.  I will love you like a family member (and ask you for money like one too.  j/k). 

My B- day wish to you:  To enjoy watching your daughter grow up to be as good of a mother as you were a father to her.  I am sure she will.  She is raised by the best man she can possibly have in her life.  If every human had a father like you, this place would be a lot better to live in.

B.E. - "B".  You have shown me parts of me I never knew existed.  After being neighbors, I found new ways to accept challenges and learn from them.  You have been a friend that lets me know that no matter how hard life sometimes gets, there is always a way to get back up.  Your success in life is because you push yourself hard and never throw your hands up to quit.  You are generous and always giving and never ask for anything in return.  I really do not know how you do it.  You are a remarkable human who can build a country from scratch if you wanted to. What the heck are you doing in Banking?  You should go run a nation.  Your talent of giving is something that I truly admire as well as desire. 

My B-day wish to you:  To be able to receive back when you have given.  Even if it is not in a material sense.  I wish good karma for you, and wish you blessings enough to last the life time of yourself, your kids and generations after. You have done more good to this world by yourself,  then most charity companies can in a lifetime.

G.P:  "G".  You are my inspiration.  Your spirit of seeing the best in people is something I wish to own.  You can see someones talents or good, when everyone else sees nothing.  You are able to talk to me in ways that I can see what I am capable of.  You are like the light in the darkness and you help me see clearly what I can do and inspire me to keep pushing along.  You are a giving person who always puts others ahead of yourself.  Your family is as giving and loving as you are to others and I can clearly see that you were raised by amazing people around you.  You teach me how to see the best in people and love them for their talent and skill and friendship.  An old quote I remember from a book once said "Friends are the kind of people who know the type of person you are, and love you for it anyway".  You really make me feel like you appreciate me for who I am and what I "could" be, and not what I "should" be.

My B-day wish for you:  To be surrounded by the strong, loving family of yours for the rest of your life and to have your life be as blessed as much as you have blessed mine.  I owe you everything I have been able to accomplish for being able to put motivational wisdom within me.

D.W: You are the brother from another mother.  You really are an older brother to me.  You have known me for many years and have seen me grow.  We have partied together, lived next to eachother, and even worked together.  You have remained a friend while most of the people from those years have come and gone.  The reason is because you stayed true and always told me the truth.  You opened up to me and protected me in times of need.  You have had my back and even stood up for me.  That is truley the work of a big brother.  I look up to you for the fact that you are proof, that just because your age gets higher, the heart does not have to grow old with it.  You have remained young at heard and spirit and I hope to be able to stay true to myself as you have been to me.  Your honesty and wisdom have never failed me and will be with me throughout my life.

My b-day wish to you:  To be able to keep that young spirit and heart for the rest of your life.   I know that you have a big heart and can look out after those you care most about.  There is a reason for me to have met you and that is to learn from you and know you will be a big brother for me for the rest of my life.

My wife's girlfriends in Sweden: I do have to appologize to you three.  The bond the four of you have is something I have with the four men listed above and I can never imagine not being close to them.  I am sorry I have taken my "love" out of your lives.  The importance of her in all of your lives is as important as the men above are to me.  You are all like sisters to her, and for that you are sisters to me.  I adore and love you all and know that you are there for her when she needs someone most.  You have accepted me regardless of knowing me as good as others.  You never questioned her reasoning and have welcomed me in a way only true friends can.  I am happy and blessed that she has you as friends.  I do not think she would have had the strength to come here if you didn't show her that you will be there for her no matter what.

I will always love you three for being the best friends my wife can have and will be the first one to answer if you ever need anything.  

My b-day wish to you all:   To be able to keep the strength of staying together.  The friendship you four have is a bond that can never be broken as long as you know how important it is for each of you.  I can see you all being friends well into your retirement years, and with every year, your bond will get stronger.  Thank you for accepting me and for being amazing people for her.

My friends who are not listed: I could mention many more people.  Frankly, some I don't know your last name, so listing one initial would be pointless.  Besides, every friend in my life has brought something that I learned from and will take with me for the rest of my life.  So thank you.  

My b-day wish to you:  That we can have a friendship that will last for the rest of our lives and that our lives are filled with health, wealth, and joy.

TO MY FAMILY:

My wife's brother and sister (and their partners):  You are the most welcoming people I have ever met.  With out a second thought, you have opened your hearts, minds and arms (as well as opened up your home) to me.  You have the strength to let your little sister go to the other side of the world to be with someone you trust and think is worthy of her.  For that, I can not say thank you enough.  The siblings are the glue that keeps the family, and you are by far the most strongest siblings  I have met.  You are as good of friends to me as if you have known me my whole life.  You have made me feel like a family member and have nothing but amazing things to say about me.  I am truley honored to call you family.  I hope that I can raise my children one day to be as close as you all are and to make sure they are as sweet, kind, loving and gracious to others, as you have been to me.  I  love you all as I love my own brother and sister.  I will return my love, heart, and friendship back to you as you have done to me for the past few years you have known me.  There is no way I can ever known that a family like yours can be so welcoming.  I thank you for being you and for letting me, be me.  

My b-day wish to you: To stay blessed with the most wonderful people around you.  Your family and lovers, are the most incredible people, and you make them better people.  I hope to learn from you and hope to continue to be a better person because of knowing you all.

My wife's parents: Where do I start? you are the most incredible people I have ever met.  I can not imagine what it is like to let your daughter go out of your home, out of your city and out of your country.  I hope I never have to do that, but if I do, I hope I can have the strength you have had to do it for your daughter.  I can not begin to explain how much I envy your family values.  You have put yourself second and let your daughter be first.  You supported her to go after her dreams of learning in the U.S. and now, let her go after starting her own family.  It is an amazing courage to step aside and let someone go on their own.  You are outstanding parents who have raised amazing children who have given more to the world then anyone can ask.  You are supportive as a back bone and keep all those in the family grounded.  Your strength is something that can never be broken and what you have tought your family, is something that can never be unlearned.  You are the air that they breath, and they can not live without you.  I look at your daughter every day and thank that she has you as her parents.  She is smart (seriously, a genious), she is as beautiful on the inside as she is on the outside, she is funny, charming, loving, caring, giving, sweet, elegant, respectful and professional, and I can say from the bottom of my heart, Thank You! for raising her to be the best woman a man can ask for.  Your daughter is "perfect" in every sense of the word and it is all because of you.  You are an amazing couple who take anyone into their home and into their hearts, and I know that my life and marriage will be successful for the rest of my life because my wife is the best thing I can ever ask for because her parents have raised her to be that way.  You should be very proud.  I know I am to have you as my in-laws and I couldn't ask for a better family to join then the one have now.  Thank you for being the most incredibly open and loving family.  I look forward to growing old with you all in my life.

My B-day wish to you:  I will only say this: If I can have half the strength you have when I finally have children, If can raise a family that is half as amazing as the family you have raised, then I would be most pleased.  I do not think there is a way I can ever have the strength you have as a parent, but I promise to do my best and try.  I will love your daughter for the rest of my life and beyond, and will give her my all, just like you give her your all.  I hope that if anything at all, I make you proud.

My Sisters kids:  I love the two of you as if you were my own kids.  I am proud of you and take joy in knowing what amazing men you will grow up to be.  You may not know this, but I learn from you.  It sounds silly, but your pure and young heart keeps me young at heart.   your laughter and wisdom is something I wish I could have.  The pure joy in living as a child is something I try to hold on to for as long as I can.  Whenever I see you and talk to you, I feel young again.  If I could, I would return to my childhood again just so I can be friends with you at school.  You both have an amazing family that loves you and will do anything for you.  You are always protected and will always be loved.  I hope that you take every opportunity that comes your way.  You can be a pro-skater, a singer, an artist, a doctor, even a president.  don't ever let anything hold you back and don't let anyone let you think you are not good enough.  

If I can tell you anything, it is this:  1) do your very best in school.  I know it sounds lame but believe me, I was not very good at school and now that I am older, I wish I did it differently.  I dont want you to look back one day and wish you did something differently.  Just do it the right way now, so you have no regrets.  2) always go for it.  Seriously, if you want to be a pro-skater, spend as much time as you need practicing.  If you want to learn music, listen to all kinds of music and learn from your history.  There is something good about practice.  It makes perfect.

3)  Always love first and always give before asking for something in return.   Too many people in the world "want want want".  The things we own, like playstation, rollerblades, a tv, they are all nice, but when you get older, you will realize that there are a lot of people who have nothing.  It feels so much better to give to someone and love someone instead of asking for something for yourself.

My b-day wish to you:  To stay young at heart as you get older.  You both are extremely smart and you will take over the world.  I hope that you realize that the people around you (saba, sata, your grandma and grandpa, Guy, Nef, Damar, Karin and even myself) all love you and will do everything we possibly can to make sure you get the best opportunity in life.  You will never have to worry about not being loved.  We will all always love you.  And make sure you wake up every morning thanking your mom.  Your mom is what will get you through life and you have your whole life to thank you for.  

My Sister:  You are my armor.  You have protected me and looked out for me since I was born.  You are the closest thing to me and our bond is like iron.  I learned more from you then I have in school.  Nobody is perfect, and yet, you love me for who I am anyway.  You took me in when I first ventured out on my own and you have looked out for me since.   You give me strength and courage to go out into the world and take it by storm.  I learned alot from you so far and I know I still have a lot more to learn.  I still have a lot more to teach as well since you and I both learn from eachother.  You are an outstanding sister and an even more outstanding mother.  You have raised some fine boys who will grow into some remarkable men one day.  I miss you and hope that so far I have been eveything I can possibly be as a brother.  I hope I never disapointed you and hope we grow together and never BS eachother.  I am glad to call you sister.

My b-day wish to you:  To be blessed with a long, healthy life to see your children achieve everything they are capable of.  If they grow up to be half as good to eachother as you have been to me, then they will be truley blessed.  

My Brother:  You really help me keep my head on my shoulders.  You remind me a lot of myself.  That is a good thing, because I can learn a lot from seeing you and hopefully teach you as well.  I can not express to you how much I love you man.  Your persistence in life is an amazing quality and your ability to learn things quickly is something many hope to gain.  You are a talented, extremely smart person and I hope you get all that you deserve in life.  You are the trunk of the family tree, and you hold up all of us when we are ratteling in the wind of the storm.  Your ability to stay strong and to hold down your own, is the reason we all can stay together.  Don't ever feel like you are not bringing anything to this family, you have brought more into it then anyone else.  You have been able to keep us from breaking apart.  In our glass house, you have been the one to keep the bricks out of our hands.  I know it sounds cheesy, but you are truley an amazing, and inspiring humanbeing.  For that, I thank you.

My B-day wish to you:  To be able to find what you love, because the talent you have can make you more successful then you can possibly dream.  You have a great mind that can lock onto a thought, and see it through. I hope that success becomes you and that you are able to achieve all that I know you are capable of.

My Mother:  If there is a peace of heaven on this earth, it is definitely inside your heart.  It is a talent, how you raised me as a mother.  Now that I am 29 and will probably be a father (soon to hopes of dad), I look back at everything you thought me and I am just amazed by the grace of your spirit.  You have never given up hope on me, even when I have given hope up on myself.  You have stood by my side when the wind was blowing and you lifted me up above water when I felt like my world was drowning.  There is not enough positive words to define how you are as a mother.  With every birthday, I realize I am more and more like you and I am thankful for that.  You can make me see my talent and what I am able to accomplish better then anyone on this planet.  You are the light within me that keeps me going and the sun that helps me flourish. I just want to say thank you for being able to see me for who I am and what I want to be.  You are supportive and loving and there is no rhyme to your reasons for loving me.  

My B-day wish to you:  To forever know that the love you watered me with, will help me grow and pass it along to others.  I will pass the kindness and love I have learned from you onto my children and so on.  You have forever, changed this world.

My father: If God has made man in his image, then I believe it when I see you.  There is nothing in this world you can not change.  You are the strongest human I have ever witnessed.  With a heart the size of a ship and the courage of a lion you have been able to take our family and keep it sailing.  I can never be as good of a father as you have been, but I will always try.  There is a force within your parenting that makes me envy everything about you.  You are the most loving and giving man and the compassion you give to others before yourself is selfless and kind.   I can only hope to grow up to be as strong on the inside as you are.  Your ability to handle life is remarkable and there is no force in the world that can stop you from protecting and caring for those you love.  If I grow up to be an outstanding father, it is truly your doing.  There is no question in the world that you don't have an answer to.  There is no pain in the world that you can not endure.  There is no love in the world that you can not match.  You are the greatest man in my eyes, and you can rest in comfort knowing that everything I am, everything I create, everything I will be to my kids and grandkids, is all because of you.  You molded me into a fantastic person who is willing to put his family first and himself second.  Just the way you have.  That, is a beautiful thing and only great men in history are known to do.  

My birthday wish to you:  To be able to know that you will never have to stress or worry about what kind of father I will be. I promise  you that the way you have raised, loved and taught me, is the way I will in my family.  I am your biggest idol and you don't need me to wish for anything for you except many more years of being surrounded by all of us who love you.

and last but never least....

My Wife:  It maybe a bit cheesy to write everything here.  I know.  Then again, I think the only people who read this are you and my mothers, so I am not too embarrassed.  I always feel like I never tell you how much I love you enough.  But, I want to tell you that you are my "whole".  You are my reason for waking up in the morning and my reason to breath.  Your ability to motivate me and to push me to places I never thought I could touch is amazing.  Whenever I feel like I can't reach higher, or go furthur, you get behind me and push me along.  Your strength to support me emotionally and with endless amount of support is priceless.  You can not find the kind of love and affection you provide in any kind of person in the world besides you.  You are the door in which has made my life with you my home.  My years before I met you have been only lessons to teach myself to be able to return my love for you.  There is million words of beauty I can write about every small piece of you.  From your eyes, to your soul, from your heart to your nose.  I love every single inch of you and your spirit, and I adore everything about your personality and ability to love.  You have sacrificed your friends and time with family to be here with me and to that I am forever in debt to you.  You have showed truly what you are made of by being able to set aside your life at home, to be able to come here to start your own.  Your smile can cure any ache and pain in any person and I can tell you that from the day I have met you, I never once, felt pain or sadness.  The ability to be surrounded by you is something that can bring peace to anyone who comes across you.  I can not change myself enough to even come close to the perfection that is you.  If there are lines I ever crossed or things I have said that were ever less then perfect, it is only because I am incapable of ever being as perfect as you.  You are the sun in my day, and my dreams in the night.  I wake to spend every second to see you and I sleep to only dream of  you. 

You are my engine within my talent, you are the electricity within my potential.  You are my wings that take me higher everytime I achieve something new.  You are my reason to live.

My birthday wish to you:  I make no wish.  I make a promise.  I promise to never let you down and always be by your side.  I am the shoulder you can lean on. The arm that will never let you fall.  I will be the feet that will take you on your journey in life and I will be the backbone that will help you rise when you are weak.  Because no matter what you think, you have been all those things to me.  I promise you that I will be everything I can for you, even if I never come close to what you have been for me.   I love you.

- SD

Everything's Not Lost....

Last night Wifey and I had the pleasure of attending the free concert by Coldplay at Madison Square Garden.  It was the very first (and only) free concert in North America where as of this past week, Coldplay's single Viva La Vida became the first single ever to be number one in America top 100 and the U.K. at the same time for them.

This was our first time in Madison Square Garden and it was exciting to go to a place where I know so many great events took place (Knicks championship, Muhammad Ali fights, Hockey Cups wins).   This was no different.  Matter of fact, by the time I stood in line to exit the seating area at the end of the show, I looked up at the ceiling where old jerseys of famous players like Ewing were hanging and I thought "This band deserves a jersey up there." This show was legendary.

I come here not as a HUGE Coldplay fan.  They are my favorite band (although as for favorite albums I would say Damien Rice wins that one with "O").   I do give this review as someone who really feels like he can't handle concerts anymore.

We arrived at 7:10.  Show starts at 8:00 according to the ticket and I could not find any info prior to it regarding an opening act so I didn't want to risk it.  We sat down in our seats with popcorn and a $9 Amstel.  The first opening act was "Blue Jackets".  A local rock band from Long Island.  The band had some good rock tracks and some not as good.  I have to say, I felt a bit of curiosity to follow up on this band this morning after hearing the last song lastnight which sounded like the lead singer singing "Let me see your stinky feet, your stinky feet..ya ya ya".   I couldn't figure out if he was really saying that.    You can find the band on iTunes.  I would recommend atleast the single "None The Wiser".

The second opening act was the closest thing to ever drive me to suicide.  It was a DJ.  Not exactly sure if it was a man or a woman.  Tall, skinny, thin hands and flat chest.  That is basically every raver I have ever see (male and female) so I can't tell you for sure.

The DJ played something along the lines of lounge, trip-hop, mixed with sound effects and crappy dark alley noises.  All the while projecting acid-trip like animation on the screen that looped to the drum beats.  I felt like I was having a seizure.  It was cool for the first 6 minutes, but after going on for 30, I wanted to boo the guy off stage.  This alone will be the reason I give this show a 9 out of 10.  Terrible.  

Now, on for the Coldplay show:

For 10,000 free concert tickets, these guys had fun doing it.  The show was not entirely perfect, with sound issues and even lyric and equipment mistakes...which in a way, did make it perfect.  Wifey said that it made it feel natural and not so "perfect" and the fact that mistakes happened, let you see the band in their natural environment.  It was like watching a rehearsal which was cool.

Some celebrities were in house, from Chris Rock, Kristin Dunst, Stuart Townsend, Molly Sims, and Charlize Theron.   This was the bands first show in North America in over two years...so no pressure.  :)

Although mistakes did happen, the band took it in stride and made the best of it.  At one point, Martin even said "Well, there are no refunds" while attempting to fix the guitar that gave him trouble.

The stage started with a black curtain covering the stage which lifted slowly as the band opened up with their album opening track "Life In Technicolor".    Once the curtain rose to the top, the whole band can be seen with extreme energy.  Chris Martin on vocals, piano and guitar (he switched between instruments all night), guitarist Johnny Buckland who hands down owned the night.  The guy tore up on his electric guitar and by far, stood out the most musically that night.  Bassist Guy Berryman, who Martin jokingly mentioned between songs "It just goes to show that with a big production, and a handsome  bassist, you can achieve anything" while talking about the Viva La Vida single going to #1 in the U.S.    Last but not least was Will Champion who through out the night was going from a normal drum set, to a couple of large drums and banging on a giant bell.  He even gave a surprise, but more on that in a bit.

The band went on to play Violet Hill as the first official song of the night with extreme energy with Chris jumping all over the stage, platforms and speakers.  He maintained this energy all night and spending equal amount of time on all sides of the stage for every fan to enjoy.

The continued on to play Clocks and then In My Place which are old favorites.  This got the crowd up and singing along.  Many times during the show, Martin would ask for a little help singing along on many tracks.  The crowd really got into it (the fact that they served beers in the seats probably helped a little).

They continued onto Viva La Vida, the hit radio  single which brought out amazing light shows.  

About the light show, it was incredible.  For the first two songs, they had lasers across the stadium along with giant light bulb looking things hanging from the ceiling which displayed words, images and at times, the band itself live.  Martin could occasionally be seen projected on them when he stopped skipping around for a bit.  Which was not often.

For Chinese Sleep Chant and God Put A Smile On Your Face, the band took to the edge of a platform, literally setting up the whole drum set for Will and the whole band squeezing together to play what seemed like was going to be an acoustic session but ended up being a full rocked out jam.  This is where some of the technical difficulties occurred when the guitar did not work for Martin or John.  Chris (who is married to Gwenth Paltrow) joked "oh this is embarrassing - let's go home.  We come over here, we steal your women and we can't even play one song."

They finally got fixed and went on to an incredible, low lit, set on the edge of the platform.  

After that they went on to new album track 42, and then to Square One, Trouble (which Martin begged for a crowd sing along help which was given), and off to "Lost" which was a powerful performance with amazing light show and sound.  

They then switched to Strawberry Swing and then after finishing, Martin exclaimed "We are going to try something we never ever tried before, so please excuse us" and then the whole band jumped off the stage, surrounded by bodygaurds and continued to cross the stadium stage left.   They kept going to what seemed like a final exit but then proceeded to go up the steps to the third section of seating, directly opposite of the stage.  The basically went to where the crappy seats were all the way toward the back.  When the lights turned their way, they had equipment set up with microphones and guitars.  The crowd was at aww as nobody could believe they can play from the other side of the stadium.  People were climbing on one another to get closer as the band literally set up shop in the walkway between seats. 

They proceeded to grab an acoustic guitar and play an acoustic version of "Yellow" which was at its purist form.  While the album version has beauty in its electric guitar rifs, this was a much smoother and more enjoyable version.  After Yellow, Martin joked that they are an old band, and that everyone is probably sick of hearing his voice, so he asked that his drummer Will, take over as lead vocals for a song.  To my surprise, Will was amazing.  He grabbed the guitar and played "Death Will Never Conquer" (which I think is a cover by The Goldrus).   He did a great job.  The band then said "Thank you" and vanished out the exits.   

I have to mention that when we left the show, I was a bit weirded out that they did not have an encore, but now I realize that when Will finished singing, Martin said "Good Night" and that was the last song.  Then, when they arrived to play two more songs back on stage, that WAS the encore, although it did not seem like it at first.

As I mentioned, they arrived back on stage about 4 minutes after vanishing and proceeded to play Fix You and wrapped up the night with Lovers In Japan which closed out the song with cannons blasting glow in the dark confetti into the air throughout the song (by the butt load) onto the audience.  The lights went off during the song and the confetti filled the air with yellow and blue bright glow in the dark pieces.  

The band thanked everyone for coming and took off.   I should mention that they did thank everyone after the 3rd song, saying that it is a pleasure to perform here in NYC where they feel is there "Second Home".

The show was outstanding.  I must say I was annoyed by the two Princeton students (with the Princeton hoodies on) who sat behind us who kept talking about how they are so much smarter than their friends.  One of them I heard saying to the other "He thinks he is so much smarter than me.  I am like, I go to the best school in the country man.  There is no way".

I was also not pleased with the people in front of us who seemed like two 17 year olds who just started dating (although they were in their 20's).  The were french kissing during every song.  Full tongue and groping right in front of us while we stare straight into the stage.   

But as I said, the show was outstanding.  The energy and a 16 song set list which was an hour and ten minutes long, was by far, the best Coldplay show I have seen.  Totally worth every penny...oh wait...it was free :)

Enjoy the photos below (I didn't take them, they were collected on flickr).  

Here is the setlist:

Life in Technicolor
Violet Hill
Clocks
In My Place
Viva La Vida
Chinese Sleep Chant
God Put A Smile Upon Your Face
42
Square One
Trouble
Lost!
Strawberry Swing
Yellow
Death Will Never Conquer
Fix You
Lovers in Japan

Viva La Free Concert

My birthday is this Thursday, and it has been an interesting lead up.  I tend to hate birthdays because they remind you that you are one year closer to a retirement home.  I am turning 29 this year which means I have to do two things.

1)  I have to live it out because honestly, it's the last year of my twenties and once you turn thirty, people expect you to behave a certain way.  You can't really grow a five o'clock shadow and wear a t-shirt that says "Jesus is my breakdancing partner".  I am sure there are plenty who still do, but I don't know, I just feel like my twenties is when I got to be an idiot and get away with it because I was still in my twenties.  Once  I hit thirties, you can still be a douchbag time to time, but people may not be as understanding. 

2) I have to work really hard on my long term goals which have officially become my short term goals.  When I was in my early 20's (21, 23, even in 25) I set short term goals and long term ones.  Short terms consisted of getting my portfolio together, starting a website, learn a new program.  My long term were "find an incredible woman to spend my life with", "stop being dependent on my folks (for things like money)" and "make X amount of money by the time I am 30".  The first two I achieved.  I found my wife and she is my spine and feet.  She keeps me stright and on my feet.  Without her, I would be a mailroom employee with a bad habit of loving alcohol.  I also stopped being dependent on others.  If shit hits the fan financially now, I figure things out.  I don't run to the safety of the Jacob Bank Of Safety (Jacob is my father).

But here is the problem.  I told myself  back in my early 20's that by age 30, I want to make a certain amount of money.  I am not going to say how much it is, but it was reasonable.  I didn't say something outrageous and untouchable.  But now I am 12 months away from turning 30 and I am not close to that "X" number.  I am on my way there, but not really close to a point where I can reach it by any-means.

So, I will probably have to push the age from 30 to 35 and hope for the best.

For now, I was thinking of things I want to do in my last 12 months of my twenties and the first one (which is "Go to a good concert") will be taken care of today.  

I entered into a contest to win free Coldplay tickets in Madison Square Garden and I won.  So today, my wife and I will get to go check out a free show (take that ticketmaster convenience fee!).  I am pretty stoked.  Anyone that knows me well enough, knows I am a big fan of this band.  So it is nice to go to their show for free on my birthday week and scratch #1 off the list.

Here is the rest of the list of things I have to do in the next 12 months:

1.  Go to a good concert

2.  Have my artwork in atleast 3 art galleries by age 30

3.  Go see another country (Flying to Paris in August)

4.  Write a book

5.  Read a good book (or more)

6.  Get piss drunk one last time at a party or something.  After 30, I don't think my body can handle anything that isn't wine or beer.

7.  Save for retirement (401K or ING Direct type of investment)

8. surf atleast one more time (which may be hard since I live in NYC)

9. Find a way to get closer to the "X" amount I want to make by age 35.

10. Make sure I complete #9 by my 30th birthday!!!

WHITE BOYZ II MEN

The great thing about living in "The City" is that there is always random stuff happening.  A parade here, a show there, a concert in between.  

This summer, every Friday, Good Morning America (ABC) have a concert summer series at Bryant Park across the street from my office.   I pass the park every morning on the way in around 8:30 and catch the tail end of the show wrapping up.  

Today, they had BOYZ II MEN.  You know, that song you had your dance to in high school prom (or made out with someone during your first couple of years in college).  They had that one song Motownphilly....and every white kid in my class thought they had the dance down.

I even remember people sporting suit jackets to school when they had that "End Of The Road" song come out.

Anyway, when I passed Bryant Park today I noticed the crowd more than anything.  It was filled with 50 to 60 year old white women.   Seriously.  A crap load of old, white ladies hanging around holding florescent signs that have "Its Not My End Of The Road Yet!".

I was laughing inside, because really, I expected a different crowd.   I thought I would see people between 26-36 in there.  Those guys were a hit during my Junior High, High School days.  I did not know that people in their 40's (who are now in the 50's) were listening to "I'll Make Love To You, Like You Want Me To, And I'll Hold You Tight....Baby All Through The Night, I'll Make Love To You...." (man, that song was HUGE in my Junior days.

Either way, it is good to see people with young spirit.  Can't imagine how many were probably singing along to "So Hard To Say Goodbye To Yesturday".

Bambi is from Brooklyn?

This photo was taken in Brooklyn (at  Lorimer and Metropolitan).  I knew Brooklyn got an IKEA over the weekend but did the IKEA come with a national forest?

Obviously some street art done perfectly well.  Add some humor to this urban jungle.  After all, Bambi has a better chance surviving in gentrified Brooklyn, then in the ghetto neighborhoods of the Red Sequoias.

It's a bird! It's a plane! It's a --- SQUAT!!!

Excuse my language, but FUCK! IT'S FUCKING HOT HERE IN NY!

The last four days we have had a "Heat Wave".  F that.  Its been more like a "Heat Tsunami".

102 degrees inside my house.  It was 98 degrees on Sunday night at 11 pm.  That's 11 PM people!

Not to mention the lightning storm and warm, hot rain (one lightning hit the Empire State Building Sunday and caused debries to fall down on the sidewalk).

I have been sweating while sitting on a bowl of ice.  Seriously, you can't even change the channel on your TV remote without breaking into a heat stroke.  My poor dogs have not moved (no, they are not dead).  Wifey had been giving them ice to lick and me, well I have been bitching and moaning about the heat for all four days.  Then I realized, I should probably stop bitchin and go buy an A/C already.

I went to PC Richards & Sons.  Cheap A/Cs and even cheaper employees.   Those guys were not wanting to help except trying to sell you the most expensive thing on the floor.  I finally buy my cheap A/C against the employee Antonio's wishes (he even said "If you don't listen to me, that's fine.  But you are spending money for nothing").  This isn't a BMW douchbag.  It's a $100 airconditioner which you may get upside your head if you don't start being a dick in this heat.

I get home only to realize that I need someone to professionally install this A/C because my building has metal window frames that can not take the tiny screws that came with my $99 A/C.   I called 12 places.  12!  Nobody wants to install the thing.  Why?  Apparently they don't want to be liable in the event the thing falls out of my window and lands on some jack ass who was on his way to work at PC Richards.  By the way, wasn't this an episode on Seinfield once?

Anyway, I finally found some guy through a girl who knows a guy who had a guy that lived with a roommate who had this guy that installs the airconditioners for $50.  Only downfall, if the A/C slips out a few months from now out the window and crushes some poodle, he probably won't take responsibility.  Heck, I would be surprised if he claimed he can even speak english.

Atleast he is coming to install it.  And if it does fall out, well, let's hope I am not home at the time. 

So all this worry about stuff falling out of windows struck a chord when I came across an article today that said a building on the Upper East Side had pieces of it breaking off and falling to the sidewalk below.  One bolder (yes, bolder..as in, giant rock, not some small Gaza Strip ammunition type rock.  I am talking about stop traffic on a windy road in the mountains type rock) fell from the sky on this Upper East Side street and crushed the front of a BMW 3-Series (pictured above).

So here I am, unable to find people to take responsibility on installing my A/C unit because of liability threats that it may fall from the sky and hurt someone (which basically means that all the 8 million people living in this city have been installing these suckers themselves and probably doing a shitty job at it), but now I have to worry about building bolders falling on my ass?  Not to mention construction cranes have been falling faster then the dollar currency in this country.  With pieces of the empire state building during lightning storms and a 102 degree weather, I am really starting to feel blessed to still be alive this week.

So cheers to you readers of New York for still staying alive in a gross heat with falling rocks and cranes and nasty, hot rain.  And Cheers to you Mr. BMW 3-Series, for having a nice car and an apartment in the Upper East Side.   Apparently, the UES is just as shitty as the rest of us.  Hope that $6000 a month apartment that is falling apart will cover your damages.  

Happy coolin'

My, That Is A Large Bug On Your Window!

I watched Cloverfield lastnight.  You know, that movie about an evil monster coming to New York (no, not Heather Mills).  The movie was cool, with your usual CGI FX of monsters killing people who are stupid enough to stand around when something over 10 feet tall is coming toward them.  How come bad things (or better yet, destructive things) always take place in Manhattan?  I Am Legend, War of The Worlds (the one with that small time actor Tom Cruise), Cloverfield, Maid In Manhatta (with that scary looking thing called J. Lopez).  How come movie studios never pick on crappy places nobody would miss?  Like Valencia? West Virginia? or even Jersey?

But anyway, I saw cloverfield and was happy with the way it ended.  Crazy young people doing stupid stuff (like running toward the location of a monster instead of away from it).  

Then this morning I get a message from my friend who works at the New York Times (some small, circulation newspaper.  I never heard of it).   I won't mention her name because lets keep it real:  Who really wants to admit that they are friends with me?  Even my mother claims my name "Shai" means "gift" in Hebrew, which is a nice way of saying "I didn't want you, but God gave you to me against my wishes".

Anyway, my friend emails me telling me about how some random dude is climbing up her building. From the OUTSIDE!  And get this, he is not 1) a construction worker 2) a window cleaner 3) spider-man.  So I guess that only leaves one thing....4) crazy person.

Here is what the New York Times blog wrote about the Royal Douchness:

"Updated, 2:12 p.m. | Alain Robert, a French stuntman known for climbing tall buildings, scaled the north face of the New York Times building on Thursday, ascending 52 stories to the roof and clutching a bright green banner, before police officers arrested him around 12:22 p.m.

Police and security officials cordoned off the sidewalk below, on West 41st Street, as a crowd assembled. The words on the banner were illegible from the sidewalk, but from office windows inside the tower the slogan on the banner could be clearly read: “Global warming kills more people than 9/11 every week.”

The man later confirmed, moments after being arrested on the roof of the tower, that he was Alain Robert, a 46-year-old stuntman famous for scaling structures like the National Bank of Abu Dhabi, the Sydney Opera House in Australia and the Eiffel Tower and Montparnasse Tower in Paris. He wore a T-shirt with his name and the address of a Web site (thesolutionissimple.org), exercise pants and climbing shoes. He had long blond hair. He used no rope, harness or parachute."

Ah, the French.   Got to love those nutty french men.  Kind of ironic that he chose to climb a building in NYC and mention 9/11.  Didn't he think he would cause a security issue?  

Goes to show that the reason New York City keeps being the city that goes to shits in movies is because we are filled with people who do crazy enough shit.  We do stuff that pisses people (or monsters) off.  No wonder they want to come from space and fuck us up.  As for baguette-boy on the building? Good that the man stands up for global warming.  Bad idea that he had to climb a building to prove his point.  Perhapse someone should tell him to start a blog instead.  

Works fine for me.

Who is reading my blog?

It has been a while since I have written.  I have been busy prepping for my very first art show (not really an art show, but more like storing my artwork at a local coffee shop which is great considering the lack of space in my apartment).  More on the art show later.

Google has this great feature called Google Analytics.  I decided to give it a spin when I started this blog and been able to see how many people visit here, from what city (or country) they visit from (can you believe someone in Russia is reading my blog?).  It also lets you view how many people got to my blog through google depending on google search terms they put in and got my blog site as a top hit.

So today, here are the top 3 search words (or sentences) that led readers to my blog this week.

Makes me wonder if they got here on accident, or if I need to start thinking of better titles for my stories.

Raccoon Gets Mistaken As 50 Cent

Poor guy.  Yes, this is a Raccoon and YES he is in a tree on the Upper East Side.  This cool little dude was on 88th street and 1st ave. yesterday.  

Cops got there and decided to get him down by shooting tranquilizers at him.  Taking the same force they used on Sean Bell when they shot a man on his wedding night 50 times (about 48 shots too excessive), they shot the poor little Raccoon so many times that he died in custody.

According to reports, the cops shot tranquilizer darts so many times and so deep to his body that the animal control people (who got there after this happened) had to euthanize the little one because as they said "it would have been difficult, if not impossible to remove them (the darts)".

Some witnesses said the NYPD reacted very un-humanely and said that some of the police officers even joked about "harpooning" the raccoon.  

The NYPD was quoted with a response to the allegations by saying that the officers on site felt like the raccoon may be "Rabid" and were concerned it may have "rabies".

It is known that a raccoon hanging out in daylight is a sign of possibly having rabies.  Hanging in a tree on the Upper East Side on the other hand, is a sign you may get shot to death.

R.I.P. little buddy.

Throwing Mama On The Train

My mother will be landing at 5:30 am tomorrow.  She is currently in Israel where she was taking care of my grandmother.   My mother has not been to New York City since the late 80's. In the late 80's, Manhattan was a shithole.  Grafitti on the subways, crime was higher than it is now and everywhere smelled like the inside of an UGG boot if you took it running on a marathon.  

Before we moved to NYC, Wifey and I decided to not bring the car.  We will be living very close to my office and her school and New York is so expensive, there is really no need for a car.  I told my father I will be giving him my car (no, it was not as a gift.  My 1999 Kia Sportage had less use to it than an empty checkbook on the first of the month.  I was giving him garbage).  

A few days after telling that to my father, I got a call from my mother:

My Mother:  "After a long talk with your father, we have decided we will let you keep the car."

Me:  "But I don't want the car. It's New York.  I have to take out a second bank loan just to pay for parking there."

Mother: "But how will you get around? or go grocery shopping?"

Me: "uh, they have these nifty little things called the subway here mom"

Mother: "Oh no! My son is not taking the subway!  Those things are dangerous, and you can get into trouble".

You see, my mother has not been here since the mid 80's and the only thing she knows about New York is what she watches with my dad everytime CSI: NY or LAW & ORDER or CSI: SVU or any other crime show that happens to take place in NYC comes on.  Problem is, it's not that bad here.  Thousands of people take the subway every day.  Sure, some get robbed, some even fall onto the tracks (see: Alcohol + Moving Train = Good Story post), but this doesn't happen often.  

My mother cares, which is a good thing.  She should.  She is my mother.  But, I had to tell her that we will survive, and in fact, one of the main reasons this blog was started was to give my mother relief that I am ok by being able to see new posts come up every morning and let her have the peace of mind that her son has survived another night here.   

So she has been in Israel for a couple of weeks and she is finally making her way here to NYC.  My father asked me to go meet her at JFK (at 5:30 a.m.) so that she does not get lost.  I agreed since I do not want to get a call at 9 a.m. from my mother telling me she is lost somewhere of Bushwick.  I told my father we will probably take a taxi back but he said "No. Take her on the train".  At first I thought he was being cheap but then he continued, "Your mother needs to get the New York experience.  Take her to your house on the train.  It will be fun.  She will get to see what you go through every day and see that it isn't all that bad."

It made sense.  Then I came across this article on the news this morning:

"U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice was discussing terrorism with Ehud Barak, Wednesday, when an aide rushed in to inform the Israeli Defense Minister that Palestinian militants had just fired a rocket from Gaza into a woman's clinic located in a large shopping mall in the southern Israeli port city of Ashkelon. "Let's go down there together," Barak told Rice, according to an Israeli source. "I want you to see with your own eyes what we're going through."

I had to laugh.  You see, Mr. Barak is doing to Mrs. Rice what I will be doing with my mother tomorrow.  Nothing is better than to take someone into Ground Zero and let them see (as both my father and Mr. Barak have said) "what we're going through".

Israel and New York.  Both attacked by terrorists.  Both have more Jews than a Bat-Mitzva for the daughter of a Hollywood agent.  Both, have something that we "go through" that apparently requires first hand experience.  I think I will still take my mother by Taxi.  Not because I don't trust the train, the train is harmless.  I just think that after coming from a place where missles are landing, it would be nice to give my mother a nice ride in a taxi instead of subway.  After all, taking a taxi is an experience you have to see, to really know what it is "I go through".

 

Hi, I am a real person!

I miss my friends.  I have had a lot of "people I know" in my life, but I also had a dozen really awesome friends.  Over the past few years (mostly in the last 2 or 3) I have lost my friends to technology.

Five, six years ago, we would hang out on a porch drinking beer and telling stories.  Now, it seems the only contact I have with my friends is on either Myspace, Facebook or the gazillion other sites they tried to invite me to (Friendster, Twitter, etc).

I was a myspace whore for a while. I joined years ago (way before the annoying ads that give you seizures or the days that you go into your myspace inbox only to find 13 emails from chicks who have their ass in a thong as a photo and their email is a cookie-cutter text that basically says "come to my private page to see me without clothes").  I was a myspace whore who spent hours upon hours on it.  I even became one of those annoying myspace friends who would post bulletins 12 times a day and would reply to every comment with a comment and would add every band as a friend just so I can put "Jason Mraz" or "50 Cent" as my top 3 friends as if I am "tight like that" with them.

Over the past couple of years I noticed a trend.  Many of my friends who used to contact me via my regular email, have abandoned that idea to go to this world where people send you messages via myspace or facebook.  To me, that was annoying as hell.  For starters, these sites have a crappy inbox system, but I also don't log on daily to check them.  So invites to a basketball game because a buddy had an extra ticket, now goes unanswered because it didn't go to my gmail.  

I also lost my friends because they all went into this myspace, facebook world where some have to play these games, and surverys and crap like that.  "Oh, so and so has sent you a would-you-fuck-me-if-we-werent-friends survey along with a virtual shot drink of foreskin juice and vodka" and suddenly, if I don't respond or accept, I am not cool or I get a snark comment.

This does not apply to all my friends, but has definitely become a trend among some.  So today I took a time machine and decided to go back 5 years and get people to get intouch with me via email.  I don't want mass-emails like I got on myspace about "come check out my new photo of me farting on my roomate" .  I want personalized messages.  I feel like I lost connection with some friends due to the fact that these "social network sites" created this comfort level where you can send a message to all 415 friends on your list instead of individuals.  Suddenly, my friends have become telemarketing spammers who tell me about their weekend along with 400 other people.  What's the point?

So today I went ahead and deleted my Myspace and my Facebook account.  Done. Gone. Dead.

If anyone wants to get a hold of me, they should have my email or my cell.  If they don't, I probably didn't see you as worthy enough.  To be honest, when I closed my myspace account, I had 184 friends.  184.  I looked at the most recent contacts on my gmail of people I email regularly and it generated eight names.   EIGHT!   That means, I had over 170 people on myspace that I never talk to and never needed.  

Call me  a jerk, or call me the beginner of a revolution against social networking.  I just see it as trimming out the fat (or cutting out the weak players from the team).  Those who have my number or gmail, can get in touch with me next time they need me.  Otherwise, let them forever be happy with their 400 friends and their "Funniest Video I ever seen" bulletins.

peace

What The 'uck Are You Doing?

Anyone who was watching the season finale of Medium lastnight here in New York got a treat during a commercial break.  A promo for the 11 p.m. NY news broadcast, famous anchor Sue Simmons dropped an F-Bomb live on TV.  

Since then, she has already come out to apologize but I say F-that.  Stand up for your frustration.  We are in New York City, we all drop F bombs on a daily basis.  It's ok.  We are not mad.

Plus, what the heck was her fellow news anchor doing to make her drop the word like that?  

Anyway, it is Tuesday and it made me laugh, so enjoy.

Alba Distorted By "Cann" Of Whoopass

When I was 13, I had a crush on two celebrities.  Andrea Elson, the girl who played the daughter on the 1980's show Alf.  Yeah, she was like 19 and I was like 13, but according to my Barmitzva, I was a man now.  The other crush was Justine Bateman.  She played the sister of Michael J. Fox on Family Ties (the dark hair one, not the blonde).  Again, she was much older, but I was 13 and all the girls on TV that were my age consisted of Blossom, DJ Tanner from Family House or the girl from My Two Dads.  Not the best selections.

Living in Los Angeles I ran into a lot of celebs.  I became friends with a few D Listers and some Z Listers as well.  When you live in LA, you tend to run into these celebs at car rental shops, at the Whole Foods, at the gas station and almost every time you go to a bar in Hollywood.  

Why both these paragraphs?  Well, they blend into this soggy mix drink that I had to drink over the weekend.

This weekend, Wifey and I hung out and decided to watch a movie.  Nothing good was on except something on TBS called "Into The Blue".   I kind of heard about the movie when it came out, the only thing I remembered was that Jessica Alba was in it.  I think every guy in this world thinks Jessica Alba is a hot woman (I am sure even gay men think that), but I am married to a much hotter wife.  Too bad my hotter wife is so hot in fact, that one evening when we were living in Los Angeles, she went out with her girlfriends and was hit on by Scott Cann (the dude with the giant head from Ocean's 11).  She blew him off and flashed the engagement ring in his face and came home and told me how funny it was and what a douchbag he was.  I agreed.  He is.

It never bothered me to think Scott Cann hit on my wife and asked for her digits because he is a celebrity and celebrities are in a world of their own.   So this weekend, I sit in front of the TV with the wife and here comes Scott Cann on screen with Jessica Alba.  Now, I should be, like all men before me, completely focused on Jessica Alba, but for some reason, all I can do is look at Scott Cann and feel the urge to wish he would drown or get eaten by a shark every minute of the movie.   The movie (from what I hear) has Jessica Alba in a lot of hot scenes....too bad I don't remember seeing them, let alone remember them permanently due to the fact that all my focus was on the douchbag that I knew had hit on my wife.  

I wasn't jealous, I know it seems that way.  I was proud more than anything else.  This guy has money and a celebrity status and my wife shut him down.  But here he was, on my tv screen, grinning.   I wanted to bitch slap my TV.  

I guess the moral to the story is, when your loved ones get hit on by celebs, avoid their movies. Even if the movie includes celebs of the opposite sex that you would think help you enjoy the movie, they won't. Just skip the movie all together.  If all else fails, wish them a horrible death by shark bites.

What's In a Name?

My wife is a fashion student.  She goes to FIT (one of the best schools to be in for the Fashion Industry) and she reads this newspaper everyday called Women's Wear Daily.

I, on the other hand, don't know Polo from Puma.  Before I met my wife I had what I thought was a good style.  Flip flops, cargo shorts, and a T-shirt that says something like "Baghadad Ass Up".

Little did I know, my way of dressing was to "stylish" as Lindsay Lohan's acting is to an Oscar performance.  After a couple of years dating a fashion student (and eventually marrying her so that I can keep this good looks forever), she managed to make me a somewhat, decent, fashionable man.  I am no model, but I definitely moved up from the "You look like the teenager in the Old Navy commercial". 

While now I do shop for my clothes at places like Zara, and H&M and stopped shopping at the  Wal-Mart Men's section that has the big, bright, yellow, smiley face over it, I still can not pronounce any of the high-end clothing names.  Most "high end" clothing are named with something sexy, and strange (like the don't want you to be able to pronounce it).   You have "Chanel" (pronounced Sha-nel)...I thought it was pronounced like Channel.  You have Balenciaga, which to me, sounds like a Brazilian Women's Soccer Team.  

I even recall one time I saw an article about Stella McCarteny and looked at my wife and asked "Does Paul McCartney know this chick is using his name for her clothing line?".   After a laugh that lasted 15 minutes, my wife said "It's his daughter".  Well how was I supposed to know that there are two famous McCartneys?

I also remember when I went shopping for my wife's birthday last year.  All I remember are the looks of the sales people at the sunglasses store when I asked them if they had anything by "Dolsee and G-yabama".   Later did I find out it is pronounced, Dolche' and Gabbana.

So last night I am sitting in bed before I snooze away and I pick up the NY AM paper.  I start reading and got to an article about how Sex and The City inspired fashion in people in NYC and how NYC inspired the show/movie.  I noticed very quickly that the article used the words "Malano" alot.  Sarah Jessica Parker was interviewed in this article and she kept referring to this Malano guy.  The article didn't make sense to me because they spoke as if I was supposed to know who this Malano guy is.  "Malano did such great work for us on set", "I wish I could have my life filled with his work".   I really started to think Malano was the director of the Sex and the City movie.

Me:  Hey, babe.  Who is Malano?

Wife:  What?

Me:  Malano.  They keep mentioning him in this article about Sex and The City.   Malano? Is he like one of the creators or something?

Wife:  He is the guy that makes the shoes...you know? the famous ones.

I previously thought it would be a cool gift to buy my wife the Sex and the City full series on DVD.  Little did I know, I would be forced to watch all of them with her.  Next time, I am buying her the series DVD of something I can watch and enjoy like the Sopranos or Saved By The Bell.

I had this perplexed look on my face when she mentioned he is the designer of famous shoes.  Then it hit me that they mentioned him in a couple of the episodes I was forced to watch.

Me (with an exciting glow on my face like I finally know a name of a designer): Oh, you mean the guy who makes the Malanik Blaniks?

Wife: ?

Me:   Malanik Blaniks!  (I was still smiling.  like I knew she would be proud of me for remembering something that she adores.  Then, my smile slowly drifted away as I noticed she was giving me a blank stare with her jaw dropped).

Wife:  Remind me again, why did I marry you?

You see, the designer is Manolo.  He designs shoes called Manolo Blahniks that are worth more than a 42" plasma.  I screwed up the name of a famous designer, and obviously proved to my wife that I was not paying attention to the DVDs we watched.

So the moral of the story is, never attempt to act like you know something, if you really don't know anything about it.

I am a well dressed man because of my fashionable wife.  I am aware of names like Betsey Johnson or Gucci, but don't know anything about them (just recently found out that Dolce and Gabbana are two guys....go figure).  For the knowledge I know due to my wife having endless amount of fashion magazines and newspapers, I still can't claim to know anything.  

Thankfully, I am not rich enough to ever have to worry about walking into Saks 5th Ave and ask a sales person:

"Excuse me, where do you keep the Malanik Blaniks?"

I am sure I would be burned at the stake.

My wife's fashion blog is amazing by the way:  http://newyorkfashion.blogg.se/

 

Gossip Girl Traumatized By Crazy Bobby

Note:  The man pictured above is not the same person mentioned below.  

They say New York never has a dull moment.  I concur.  

I went home for lunch because 1) its cheaper than buying the greased up baked bread they call pizza across the street and 2) it lets me hang out with my wife between my eight hour shift at the office to keep me sane.   

I always love seeing the different things going on in the streets while I walk to and from home.  Men in suits on their blackberries, women shopping with Lord and Taylor bags in both arms, tourists thinking they are getting a deal on a "REAL" Louis Vuitton bag from the Jamaican guy selling the knock offs out of a Sponge Bob towel on the corner of 37th and 7th.  I swear I once saw what was obviously a tourist pick a knock off bag up and ask the guy "Are these real?"  The large smile that followed on the mans face could only lead me to believe that the words about to come out of his mouth were "Ofcourse madam.  And do I have a deal for you today!..."

Poor tourists.

So on my lunch trip I came across three different scenes today.  Two were reminiscent of my days in Los Angeles.  The first was on the way home as I passed Bryant Park.  I saw the movie trailers lined up along side the park along with multiple crew people running around with their schedule sheet on their headsets.  I spoke briefly to one of the teamsters who was smoking on the back of a truck and he told me that they were shooting a new Julia Roberts movie.   Julia was not on set today.  Atleast not here.  I continued home.

After two quesadillas, some coffee and a brief phone call with my brother about his dog who he chose to name Ninja, I was back out the door on my way to the office.  On the way back, literally 1/2 a  block from our apartment, more movie trailers.  They have been parked outside of our corner for a couple of days but nobody has been in or out.  Today, I got the answer as to what the heck are they shooting here.  Right outside the "Hair and Make Up" trailer, sat Connor Paolo.  Also known as the little brother of Serena on Gossip Girl (I know, the fact that I have this knowledge without having to research it is a disgrace).

I had to call the wife because she watches this show obsessively.  I watch it with her because she forces me.   Plus, for every 3 episodes of things like Gossip Girl, Oprah or America's Next Top Model, I get to watch a blood bath movie and make her sit there with me to watch it.  

The third thing I saw on the way back to the office should be in a movie.  Probably something like Jackass IV.  I walk up 40th and just passing Madison when a tall, skinny, african american man passes me.  I first noticed the Rambo like florescent headband he had around his head and that he was very dirty.  As he dashes past me and weaves in front of me as I walk, I notice his old ripped up shirt.  A near confirmation that he is homeless.  Then, I noticed both of his hands were holding a brown, letter size envelope where his butt is....and took notice that he was not wearing any pants...nor underwear for that matter.  The man was wearing a headband, a t-shirt and an envelope.  I was not in front of him, but I was curious that he is using the one envelope he has, to cover up the back part of his naked lower body.  I immediately started to take notice of the people walking in the opposite direction.  Working people, women shopping, Fed Ex delivery guys, all  making that face like they just saw an anaconda snake free in Manhattan.  Thankfully, I was getting the covered, raterd PG-13 side of this crazy man.  

I got nervous and chose to not pass him.  I stalled and let him gain some distance.  Every once in a while his dirty butt cheeks would peak from behind the envelope.  It was horrifying. 

Then out of nowhere, just before the intersection of Bryant Park, the man stops and walks up to a glass window to a store and starts licking the window.  He licks and then used his fingers to write something with the spit left behind.  I kept walking and not look back.  

So there.  Not a single dull moment while traveling a few blocks in Mid-Town Manhattan.

This place can be a place where Oscar winning actresses can shoot a movie, and a popular TV show can set up shop right in front of your apartment and you can always count on crazy, naked, homeless dudes to know which body part is more embarrassing when exposed to the general public.

Happy licking!